


a little help

by Youreritingsux



Series: eboys one shots (mlm) [14]
Category: Commentary crew, eboys - Fandom
Genre: Body Dysphoria, FTM, Fluff, FtM James Marriott, Gender Dysphoria, LGBT, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Transgender, blb, gay their very gay, george takes care of his boy, james is a big old softie, mlm, pure fluff, you will prey this au from my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27533782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youreritingsux/pseuds/Youreritingsux
Summary: george is worry wart about james... james doesn't mind.
Relationships: George Andrew/James Marriott
Series: eboys one shots (mlm) [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938247
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	a little help

**Author's Note:**

> i hate people just making trans au's about the 'softer' ones of the group  
> like where are my manly boys with beards? the ones that are my unrealistic   
> transition goals????  
> also james is staying the same height because female bodied people can be tall too???

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james wasn't entirely sure how he ended up in this situation, he thought he had gotten pretty good at taking his binder off and putting it on, but as his arms were trapped above his head that confidence had quickly diapered. he wiggled a bit trying to get it down his arms or off of them, either would work at this point. he stumbled backward a bit, attempting to bend his wrist so he could reach some part of the binder to help pull it off so he could start again, but the damned thing was to far down his arms. _i'm going to die like this aren't i?_ he thought solemnly to himself. the longer he was shirtless the longer he felt uncomfortable, their was a sight sting to his shoulder and he felt his eyes water a bit, he felt silly for crying but his dysphoria was already maxed out, and this wasn't helping - _he just wanted to feel comfortable in his own skin damn it_. he thrashed around a bit before freezing as he heard the door to his apartment open.

"james?" the sound of georges voice echoed through the apartment.

 _fuck._ james raked his brain to try to figure out if george had told him he was coming over today for something. he couldn't let george see him like this. he panicked a bit trying hard to get the binder off or down him, he hated the thought that the younger male could see him in such a pathetic situation, looking helpless, tears stains on his face and even more gathering in his eyes. " _common, just... please_ " he begged quietly, he didn't know who or what he was bagging, maybe the binder, maybe any god merciful enough to listen.

"james?" george called again "you better not be sleeping, i'm board and alex fucked off to wills!"

james sighed admitting defeated "ge...george?" he called back sniffing a bit, wishing he could at least clear the tears off his face before the boy came in.

he heard georges footsteps come toward the room, the door was already open and turned his back to him, he didn't need the male seeing his chest, he felt awful enough as it was. he could see the boy in the mirror looking at him, seeming to fight back a smile. a few more tears escaped his eyes.

"i need help" his voice cracked a bit.

george smile dropped and he walked over to him, any funny aspect of the situation gone when he had heard the tone of james' voice "hey its okay, i'll help, do you want it on or off?" he asked.

"on" james mumbled sniffing again.

george nodded and slowly pulled the binder down over his shoulders, having to reach up a bit to do so. james was tall for someone who wasn't born male, but george had met his parents, they were also tall, so he supposed it wasn't too surprising that james had ended up a tall boy as well. once the binder was down he allowed james to take over watching the male, when he turned around george reached over clearing some tears from the boys face.

"hey, its okay, i'm sure i'd get stuck too" george said "common big guy, don't cry, its okay"

despite the words of comfort james broke down and george was quick to wrap his arms around the male, pulling james down into his shoulder and holding him tightly. the older appreciated it and clung to george, burring his face into the crook of his neck as he let out tears, his body trembled a bit, partly regretting putting on the binder as his back started to hurt a bit, the the tight fabric didn't help with his short panicked breaths. george rubbed the boys back through it. eventually james let go, standing up straight and stretching a bit, focusing on getting his breathing back to normal so he didn't pass out.

"i hate this" james said clearing the tears off his face with his hand, as he grabbed his hoodie and tugged it on.

"i know..." george said, he walked closer, leaning up and pressing a kiss to james' forehead, he didn't care how stupid he felt having to sit up on his toes, james needed comforting right now and damn it he was going to do that "whens your consultation?" he asked trying to make james look forward, see that he was moving forward, even if it felt slow.

"in two weeks" he said meeting georges eyes.

"did you want someone to go with you?"

james thought for a moment "what you?" he asked a small chuckle leaving his lips, george only nodded with a smile on his face "oh - you don't -"

"i know i don't have to james, but you shouldn't have to go through it alone if you don't want to" george said firmly.

james nodded a bit, he really didn't want to sit in the waiting room alone, nervously waiting for the doctor to call him in, or even talk to her alone while they looked at pictures and discussed his options for top surgery, it felt too scary to face it alone. "i'd like that" he smiled at george who smile back at him.

"i'll be there then" george nodded "common, lets go play some fifa, and i'll order you're favorite"

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james wiggled a bit uncomfortably, the boys and him just got done recording and eboys episode, and were cleaning up, his binder was starting to dig into his ribs, and get painful. this didn't happen often, but when it did he knew better then to keep it on, however he hating going without his binder in front of his friends, even if they knew, even if they didn't care or think less of him. home alone was one thing, but in front of all his mates felt weird, he felt like less of a man around them then. he winced a bit as he bent down to pick stuff up off the floor, he hoped none of them would notice.

"james how long have you been wearing your binder?" george asked, james guessed he had been caught out by him, he always seemed to be watching, sometime george just seemed to know, he hated that about him.

this caught will's attention who looked over toward them furrowing his eyebrows as a worried look split across his face, alex had gone down to the trash area to throw the garbage out, but if he was here he was sure alex would of already started scolding him before he got to answer.

"i don't know..." james lied, making george glare at him "what? i'm fine... like... eleven hours i think?" he stayed bent down picking up some ripped up pieces of a box.

"james! that's way too long!" george scolded "take it off"

"guy's i'm fine i just - _fuck_ " he hissed as he stood up finally from bending over, his ribs giving a hiss of protest as he did so.

"jimbo, go take it off _right now_ " will said pointing toward the bathrooms in the filming room they were in.

james sighed, he knew there was no use in arguing now, plus if he didn't before alex got up he'd get more of an earful - _he was sure he already would if will or george told on him_. he walked to bathroom, and got his binder off, already feeling physically better and able to breath a bit easier, he took a few deep breaths and felt his ribs making sure their wasn't any bruising or signs of serious damage, it didn't seem like there was so he tugged his sweater back on and walked back out messing with his hair.

"happy?" james asked a bit bitter as he clutched the pale skin colored binder in his hand.

george nodded and walked over to him, taking the binder from his hands, probably not trusting him with it at the moment "yes, go get some water, were going to order some stuff and head to wills to play fifia, you coming?"

james smiled a bit and nodded, he didn't want to miss out on some fun with friends just because he couldn't wear his binder the rest of the night, a few hours with it off and he would probably forget about it anyway.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"james did you take you shot?!" georges voice traveled through his apartment before he even realized anyone was in it with him, he had been coming over more and more often, not that james could really complain, he liked it.

james reached up sliding off his headphones as george walked in glancing at the screen, he was working on a song at the moment, he leaned to get a closer look only to have him minimize the app, he usually didn't mind george seeing his music, but not this one "not yet no" he said.

"aw, why does will get to hear you're music but not me?" george pouted a bit.

"this isn't going to be on the ep..." james said getting up to grab his shot kit from the bathroom, george followed him "and you do get to hear my music, that ones just not for peoples eyes or ears" he added grabbing the kit from the pill cabinet and opening it, george leaned on the door frame and watched him.

"well i better be the first to hear it if you change your mind about that"

james smiled and shook his head a bit, focusing on getting the right amount of testosterone into the needle. he took it out and flicked it to get any air bubbles out, glancing at george who was watching him rather closely, he raised an eyebrow but decided to just ignored him, pulling down his pants to his ankles and sitting on the edge of his tub. he pushed the needle in and made sure everything was fine before pushing the ' _boy-juice_ ' - _as will so lovingly called it several times_ \- in and pulled the needle out, covering it back and up and pushing it into the jug he kept his used needles in. he had remember to take that out to get empty next week. he held a cotton ball over the spot for a few seconds before putting an band-aid on it, that no doubt he'd forget to take off until his shower tomorrow. 

"so why does no one get to see the song?" george asked.

"its personal" james said "i mean all my music is, but... its about someone, and i'm afraid i'm a little transparent in it" he shrugged a bit pulling his pants back up as he did so.

george nodded "how lucky to get james marriott so smitten over you that he writes a song" he said feigning a dreamy sigh.

james chuckled and shook his head playfully hitting him "shut up"

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james was laying on the couch, it was just one of those days where he felt like doing nothing, but laying around and feeling sorry for himself. his back was killing him so he couldn't even put on his binder, instead he wore a sweater two sizes two big for him - it had been a mix up at first but james realized it was perfect for a 'dysphoria hoodie' so he kept it. a movie was playing in the background, an old dvd he had found but he couldn't really pay attention to it, his mind kept wandering else wear.

lately his mind like to do that, and its favorite place to go was george, james blamed it heavily on the fact that george helped him so much, and really cared for him... _just misguided feelings was all_. though he wrote a song about him so could it really be misguided feelings? when he closed his eyes he could see feel the males lips against his cheek or forehead, the linger touch of george squeezing his hand and telling him everything was going to be alright during his hundredth dysphoria induced panic attack of the week, if he focused hard enough his voice echoed in his head. it wasn't fair, george had weaseled his way into his life and took over all his thoughts.

james heard the door open, he half expected it to be george, it almost always was, he didn't lift his head to check, he just want to sleep the day away if he could, but he hadn't managed to get to sleep just yet, his mind was buzzing to much to allow him to fully do that.

"jimbo!" will's voice called.

the younger groaned "we weren't filming today right?" he asked, he didn't think he could act happy for the camera's today.

"no" he chuckled, and sat down in one of the arm chairs "can't i just visit my friend without it being work?"

"then leave, i'm wallowing"

will laughed and shook his head, nudging his arm with his shoe "well now i'm really not leaving, you'll wallow yourself into an early grave if i let you" he smirked.

james sighed and met wills gaze smiling a bit, he couldn't help but smile, his friends never allowed him to sink deeper into his head then he already was "so did you just come to hang out or is there a reason i'm being graced with your presence?"

will scuffed a bit "just wanna hang out, i'm board, plus george is to busy to check up on you and he was driving me insane with his worry so i told him i'd come make sure you weren't dead"

"i don't get it..." james mumbled, the other hummed in question leaning forward a bit as the boy finally sat up and met his gaze fully "he always seems to know even when he hasn't seen or spoke to me all day"

"boy's head over heels for you jimbo, what did you expect?"

james felt his heart tighten a bit at that and he glared at will, kicking his legs "shut up"

"ow!" the older scolded before laughing a bit "i'm serious, if you can't see the boy's in love with you then you're both hopeless" he huffed.

james shook his head, will had it all wrong... no way in a million years did george actually reciprocated his feelings. he looked down at his hands and will shifted over the couch grabbing his remote and quickly restarting the movie he was watching over, obviously not wanting to push the topic any further since it seemed to be making james uncomfortable. james however couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of their hang out.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

james tossed the football in the air and caught it, repeating the motion several times as he laid silently on georges bed, mind swimming with that will had told him. it sounded ridiculous that george was in love with him, he was just being a good friend... and always had been. upon learning that james was transgender he seemed to want to know everything about it, however he took to educating himself more then forcing james to educate him like some people did. he did ask james some questions of course, stuff google couldn't answer, and would always apologize if he accidentally crossed the line with his naturally curious nature. from what james could tell he learned a lot, but since then he had been taking care of james any way he would let him, he helped him take his shot, when james' hands were too shaky to do it himself, force him to take his binder off when he wore it to long, drove him to doctors appointments so he didn't have to be alone along with load of other things. _but that was just because he was a caring friend right?_ surely he would of done the same with alex or will... so why did these thoughts making james' heart pound in his ears?

"you're spinning again" george said.

james caught the ball in hands once more before just holding it their so he could look at george who was turned fully around to look at him, the editing software on his computer open and abandoned now that his focus was fully on him. the boy slowly shook his head, sometimes he wondered if george could read minds, how could he possibly know he was 'spinning' otherwise? he allowed his eyes to meet the others for a second before looking back up toward the ceiling and going back into the catching of tossing the ball into the air and catching it.

"i know when you're over thinking, you can't lie to me" george said getting out of his chair and crawling into the bed with james and scooted in a bit to give him room "its fine if you don't want to talk about it"

james sighed and shrugged as he kept tossing the ball "i don't know man, jus' a lot going on is all"

he could see george nod out of the corner of his eye, he felt the males blue eyes burn into him, he caught the ball once more and turned his head to meet them, furrowing his eyebrows in question. this time george was the one, to shrug at his silent question, leaving the two staring at each other, a mixture of comfortable and tense silence blanketing over them.

"you don't have to take care of me y'know" james finally said pulling his gaze away from the males pretty face, to toss the ball again, keep his hand and mind busy before he tried something stupid.

george was silent for a moment and james figured he would just ignore his comment, however the boy did speak eventually "i can stop if you don't like it..." it sounded more timid then the shorter one usually did, he always had a hint of confidence to him but it seemed less now.

james caught the ball and threw it gently at george making him catch it as he sat up, looking down at him "i like it, i just don't want you to feel responsible for me"

"i don't feel responsible for you though" george sat up, placing the football in his lap "i don't know... you've just always taken up a part of my mind, i always think about what you're doing, or how you're feeling... if you're safe or not..." he trailed off looking down, spinning the football in his hands.

it felt like a lot to take in, his head spun with all that could mean, it felt stupid to over think it, but the way he talk about him definitely didn't feel like a friend... the way they talked about each other didn't seem platonic.

"sorry" george said, looking a bit panicked now that james hadn't answered.

"no, that's..." he trailed off trying to find his own words, sometime they just got stuck at the tip of his tongue, swirled around his his head making it hard to explain his own feelings, he reached over and grabbed georges hand, the ball finally falling to the floor away from where either could grab and fidget with it.

james shifted his hand so their fingers laced together, trying to show his emotions so he didn't have to put them into words, or at least buy him time while the words untangled themselves from his brain.

"you take up a portion of my brain too..." he managed, meeting georges gaze he could feel his heart pounding against his chest, his binder not helping with that feeling, he slowly leaned forward not being able to hold back that feeling anymore, he needed to feel georges lips on his just as much as he needed oxygen at the moment.

george pulled back slightly, and james froze. _shit, fuck, he misread it all, he knew it, he knew will didn't know shit he knew he -_

"sorry, i wasn't expecting..." george trailed off scooting a bit closer so their bodies pressing into each other in a way that made both of them shiver "you _were_ going to kiss me right?" he asked, doubting himself as much as james did.

james could only nod, his tongue refusing to work at the worst of times, the younger leaned forward again and pressed their lips together, it was hesitant, slow, as if both were worried that the other would suddenly change their mind about this and pull away, but neither pulled away. james took the insensitive to deepen the kiss, his hand traveling to grab george side and pull him a bit closer, the other ending up in his lap as their tongues danced with each other. neither wanted it to stop, even georges hands resting on james binded chest couldn't ruin the moment like it usually would with other partners. he laid down george on top of him, their kiss breaking as the other hand to shift on to his lap, james opened his eyes to see george staring down at him, his lips wet, his cheeks had a slight tint of pink to them, he looked a little dazed as he panted. he leaned up ignoring the slight uncomfortable feeling of his binder digging into him, to press a shorter kiss to george lips, he propped himself up on his elbow to help relieve the pressure a bit.

george connected their lips again, fully ready to take this as far as both of them were comfortable with, he didn't want to push him to far but as the same time he needed him so badly, in anyway james would allow him to have him. this time the kiss was hungry, more urgent to get back to where they were last time, their teeth clicking together slightly as james pulled them down and his head hit the pillow.

"guy's i'm going to order chin- _jesus fuck!_ " alex put his hands in front of his eyes as the two quickly pulled away from one another and george quickly pushed himself off of james, both forgetting the other was even home " _i don't care who you neck on with in here george but at least close yer' fucking door!_ " alex complained as he walked out slamming george door behind him to make a point.

james stared at the door for a bit before a laugh finally escaped him, opening the flood gates for more to come out, george hit him with the pillow, his face completely red now, a slight mortified look to him.

"piss off! its not funny james!" george said, though he was holding back a small laugh from coming out " _jesus christ_ " he mumbled rubbing his face.

"what ashamed of me are you?" he teased as through his small chuckles.

"what - i no! of course not, i could never -"

james quickly cut him off with a kiss before the boy could talk himself into a frenzy "calm down love" he said as he pulled away "i was just teasing you" he said brushing his hand through the dark auburn hair, george took a deep breath and shook his head.

"um... so are we skipping all first date bull shit just going straight to official?" george asked looking toward james and he pushed himself to the edge of the bed.

"not letting you off that easy" james smirked "i'm fully intent on taking you on taking you on more then a few charming dates before then"

george huffed a bit crossing his arms getting up and turning to look at james "fine... i'm still telling people you're my boyfriend though"

james hummed in thought as he got off the bed as well, wrapping his arms around the others waist and pulling him in, pressing a soft kiss to his head "fine, _brat_ " he smirked.

"m'not a brat!" george complained "i just know what i want"

james chuckled and rolled his eyes "come on, lets go make sure alex isn't to annoyed at us" he said letting go of george and walking out before him, he boy followed quickly grabbing the other hand, both perfectly intertwining together.

james didn't know he could imagine a world with out george in his life, the way he checked in on him, took care of him. the looks he gave him when he was about to do something mischievous, the small touches, he didn't know how he survived before they met, george gave him a million reason to keep pushing through, so james was going to give him a million and ten reason to keep choosing him over and over again.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments always appreciated.


End file.
